A poem for Ann in my own words, shame it doesn’t all rhyme!

Why Did You Have To Go And Leave Me?

It was in the winter of 2012 that you went away,

you never even said goodbye, and i never saw you go,

it was a normal early February day, but cold even so,

you missed your appointment as well today, but you couldn't go, no, not today,

i was busy seeing to something outside,

and had no idea what was going on inside,

when the Angels came and took the one i love,

they took you off to the Heaven above,

so today the 6th you went away,

and left a babbling old fool behind,

where only good people are allowed to rest,

where you always knew where you would go, along with the best,

we used to laugh at your rise to Heaven, one day,

and my descent to the Hell of fire and brimstone, the other way,

but we had that agreement, set out many years ago,

where i would be first to go, and stoke up the fire to keep you warm and dry,

you would be free to spend the rest of your life in peace,

and to spend on what you wanted, as you always never did in those early years,

you were the Mother to our two Children, Steven and Ann-Marie,

although they both never appreciated you, or showed love as it should be,

although we had our ups and downs, and maybe it wasn’t said by me,

but i did, still do, and always will love and remember you,

so today the 6th you went away,

and left a babbling old fool behind,

a fool who just simply couldn’t cope, with losing you this way,

but prayed for your soul and then just cried, and cried, and cried,

i held you for what seemed many hours, as you lay there so restful,

all the pain and discomfort now gone, but the medics were not so respectful,

your face and body were at ease, and for that i was grateful,

you suffered little this final day, and even took some soup, but not a bowlful,

so today the 6th you went away,

and left a babbling old fool behind,

i missed you then, and miss you now,

and will always miss you my old friend,

you were my girlfriend, Wife, best friend, and to our Children, a Mother,

but you never asked for much, and there will be no other,

i promised you as you lay there cold and lifeless,

i will never ever be unfaithful, even though i was free to roam,

even now as four years pass, i have kept my promise,

as to me my love, there is, and will never be anyone like you, my Ann,

the saying goes, they broke the mould,

and with you my Ann that is all so true, an Angel to behold,

you had no venom, hatred or malice,

but many offered you a poisonous chalice,

you did no one harm throughout your entire life,

as only Angels can,

but others you befriended throughout this life,

some turned and caused you harm, as if to some unknown plan,

you were still the shy and innocent girl i first met,

right up to when the Angels came to get,

so today the 6th you went away,

and left a babbling old fool behind,

these past four years have been my Hell,

and i even managed to cry for two years, as well,

yes i missed you so much i cried every day,

and talked to your photo, as if you never went away,

i still have my memories, photos of places we went,

but missing you has never left me, and its like they were Heaven sent,

i light a candle each anniversary week,

a Spanish sacred Heart one, as you would at least expect,

and place it in the lantern i bought, just for it,

and hung it on the hook in the porch, to rightfully sit,

so today the 6th you went away,

and left a babbling old fool behind, and pray,

to pray that one day you will return,

resurrected from that funeral urn,

free of the cancer that took you from me,

that’s why i light the candle for you to see,

to see your way back home through the dark,

and hope we both can make a new, and fresh start,

Ann please come back home, i always ask,

and guess that’s a tough and fruitless task,

but its my dream that one day,

we will be reunited again in what we do, and say,

for you there is an after life, a Heaven and Hell,

but for me?, i am just in my own little Hell,

as this earth to me is either Heaven or Hell,

its what you make of it, what life throws at you, that i can tell,

Rest in peace my little Annie. James 6 Feb 2016.